We all come from different walks of life, and personally, I‘m inspired by individuals who use their circumstances, no matter how hard, to make the most out of their time here on Earth. Some of us are born into hardship while others are sold the Disney dream, only to get slapped in the face with reality once they go out on their own. The truth is that life never promises to be easy for any of us, but it can be sweet if we know how to seek the richness it has to offer.
I will never try to downplay the complexity of the human experience. You and I could walk the exact same path and still come out as two very different individuals. There is certainly no blueprint for life, and anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you a lie wrapped up in pretty packaging. However, I do believe there are several foundational rules that universally apply to improve our circumstances and kick ass, regardless of where you are in life.
Rule #1: Know that your only competition is who you were yesterday.
One of the downsides to living in the age of social media is the fact that we are bombarded with content from people all over the world that seem to be doing what we’re doing, only bigger, better, and fancier. According to one study, social comparison and feedback-seeking amongst social media users were linked to depressive symptoms, which does not surprise me. Comparing our success to another person’s is like a strawberry trying to become a watermelon. Both are fantastic, but neither can become the other—and thank goodness, because life without each would be a little less sweet. In truth, your only competition is who you were yesterday. Every day you have the opportunity to get a little stronger, smarter, and braver than the day before. So next time you start to compare yourself to Sarah from Texas or John from upstate New York, shift your mindset inward and take inventory of how far you’ve come from who you were yesterday and how much further you’ll go tomorrow.
Rule #2: Earn, save, and invest before you spend.
If COVID-19 has shown us anything, it’s the importance of having a nest egg in an emergency or unplanned life event. Unfortunately, most people don’t learn about money management in school, which may account for why a typical American household has an average debt of $67,400 (not including mortgages). A key component to living your best life is to resist the urge for instant gratification and learn how to think ahead. Everybody loves a good splurge, but if you’re spending all of your paychecks instead of saving, then you’re setting yourself up for future stress when the unexpected comes up (and it will). You work hard for your money, so don’t give it away so easily. Save, pay off debts, and invest your efforts for maximum reward.
Rule #3: Avoid negative people.
Misery loves company, but that does not mean you need to RSVP to the party. I’m not telling you to drop your friend who is going through a hard time, but if you have people in your life that never seem to have anything nice to say, then it may be time to wish them well and walk away. The same rings true for family members. It does not matter if it is your mother, father, uncle, sister, or grandpa. If you feel hurt, heavy, or down after almost every conversation or visit with them, you have every right to screen their calls and skip Thanksgiving. You do not owe your energy to negative people, no matter who they may be in your life’s lineage. Life is too short, and time is too precious for you to waste it on people who don’t lift you up and bring you joy.
Rule #4: See failure as a beginning, not an end.
When NBA legend Michael Jordan was once asked about failure, he said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Failure is not the end; it is the beginning. In fact, it can only be the end if you stop trying. This knowledge is powerful because when you learn to see failure as an opportunity rather than a roadblock, it doesn’t extinguish your goals; it ignites them. When you fail, learn from it and let those lessons guide you toward success.
Rule #5: Our habits decide our future.
What you choose to do or not do is ultimately what will determine your future. Time ticks on whether you leave your bed in the morning or not, so the biggest question to ask yourself is, “How can I use my time to inch closer to my dreams?” Your habits can either enhance or inhibit your life, depending on what they are. A pattern of poor self-talk, for example, may leave you feeling unmotivated and unsure about yourself. Likewise, a habit of journaling positive attributes about yourself may cultivate an environment of assurance, confidence, and self-respect. Evaluate your habits. Get rid of those that don’t benefit you and start creating some new ones that serve you well.
By applying these five rules, you can level up, no matter who you are or where you come from. This is your one life, so honor your existence and make the most out of your time. You deserve to absolutely kick ass in life, so go after it and make yourself proud.